WUMBOLOGY!

[Ultimate Commando]

study the art of wumbology! for a fee of 2000 gold ill give you a lesson in wumbology! you learn the art of wumbo and then fight a beast that has 30 Hp 10 Mp and has 4 move and 1 range with an attack of 20 and a defense of 8. winning gives you 10 exp and losing gives you nothing. here is the map

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ill play the part of the beast pm me to set up a time

[InTheMachine]

Little Susan B. stood staring at the thing before her in disbelief.
"Fat," she said. "I'm fat?"

"I'm a machine. Machines don't lie."

"But I'm ten."

"Ten and fat."

"But how can you tell? There's gotta be some mistake."

"Okay, kid, listen up. I've got your goddamn height and BMI right here. Right here inside me.
And according to my records, you suck at boxing, you suck at running, your physical age is that of a 48-year-old male and you suck at Brawl."

"Hey, you're being mean!"

"I'm not mean. I'm a machine. Can't take playing with me? If you don't like it then take yourself somewhere else and maybe go and play with the other babies outside in the sandbox. In the sun. With other actual humans. Like a sissy. Go ahead. You're obviously not man enough to play with this."

The Nintendo Wii puffed out his chest as little Susan B. ran away crying to the sandbox.

A short distance away, PS3 and 360 frowned disapprovingly. PS3 sighed.

"Man, I don't know what happened to him. I remember when he used to be so, I don't know, innocent, you know? Back when we were young we never had this problem. It was always, "hey, let's just have fun!" you know? Now it's just bitches don't know 'bout mah joystick, ahurr."

"I am not fat," growled 360 angrily to himself.

"Look, dude, he didn't mean it. I mean, yeah, he's a jackass now but maybe if-"

"HEY, DOUCHEBAGS!" called Wii.

"Oh Jesus Christ, here he comes..." whispered PS3.

Wii sauntered up to them and poked PS3 in the chest. "Hey, faggots. Don't you know that white is right?
We don't want, uh, your kind around here."

"Bitch, I will knock your white ass into-"

"Not so fast, X-Man," said PS3 as he stepped between the two. "There's no need to be a dick, Wii.
Besides, 360's color is kinda white. Or maybe beige. And, hey WAIT, what the hell's wrong with my color?!"

"Aw, nuthin'," Wii said slyly. "It's just...ya know...everything. Face it, man. You're big, you're bulky, and you could lose a few. Oh, and you're black. So why don't you just get off my turf. You're scarin' the kids."

PS3 tried to bite back his anger as he stared down at the smaller, whiter machine. "Well, maybe games ain't just for kids. Maybe the kids can suck a dick. Maybe some of us have moved on. Unlike you," he growled. "Maybe some of us have, I don't know, Wii, gotten more mature. Maybe we stopped settling on petty things. Maybe we re-adjusted our hardware. Maybe we grew up." PS3 suddenly smiled.

"Maybe our graphics grew up."

Wii stared at him in disbelief. "What...what the fuck did you just say to me....?"

PS3 took a deep breath, bracing for a fight. "I said, 'maybe our graphics grew. Up.'"

Wii couldn't believe what he was hearing. This...this big, black, bulky thing was insulting him. Right here. In public. And people were starting to stare.

"Y'see, Wii. You know something. You're right. Sure. You're sleek. You're small." PS3 stared right at him. "And you're white. But you know what-" Here, 360 and PS3 exchanged wide smiles.
"We may be big, but at least we don't have to wear our grandmother's hand-me-down polygons."

360 saw the opening and swooped in.

"Pokemon? More like just choke me, mon.

"Hey, Wii. While you were busy hopping on mushrooms and -attempting- to score with da princess, I was busy riding a pegasus and decimating everyone and their mother with flame whips while killing Zeus."

"Hey, Wii. while you were busy playing Kiddy Kart with flowers and clouds, I was haulin' guns and annihilating alien scum. With plasma guns and a sweet helmet."

"Way better than running around like a douche in green tights, man."

"Way better, bro. I'd take getting ripped in half by city-sized tentacles in space than ever being caught
dead playing Super Mario Fallacy."

"Wii Fit? More like Wii Shit."

Wii's rage finally began to boil over and his circuits began to overheat. "WELL, FUUUUUCK YOU GUYS.
I. AM. OUTTA HERE. I'm too cool for you jackasses anyway. Now if you'll excuse me," Wii huffed as he pushed both of them aside. "I have small magical animals to enslave and torture in little balls."
He cast a final glance back.
"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS LINE UP FOR -HOURS- TO PLAY WITH MY 'MOTE," he yelled before finally turning his back and running off into the sunset.

360 and PS3 smiled happily. "Dude...no matter what he or anyone says, we're both the shit. And no one can take that away from us. So what if we're not small and white like him. Fuck that. People still love us.
I love you, bro." They embraced.

"I love you too, 360. I love you so hard. I'll push your buttons any day."

"That's what PSP said."

"WHAT. YOU LEAVE MY LITTLE SISTER OUT OF THIS, YOU FUCKER," PS3 suddenly raged angrily. "I -KNEW- something was going on. People always takin' advantage of her because she's so small and portable!"

"Hey, man, everybody -knew- except you." 360 said defensively. "She was just so little and-"

"OH MY GOD, SHE'S NOT EVEN HALF YOUR SIZE, YOU ASSHOLE. You couldn't have waited until they made her a slightly bigger model?! Fuckin' jailbait, motherfucker! Jailbait!"

"Whaddaya gon' do about it? Huh? You -and- your less superior graphics. I could fuck you up. Man, I got Halo."

"God of War, bitch."

"Bring it, you're just a fanboy compared to me. Learn to roll with the big boys and maybe people will start giving a shit about what comes out of your mouth."

"Speaking of mouths, your mother has an 80 percent swallow rate."

"Your mom can't keep her hands off me."

"Fuck, we'll settle this online."

"Hey, PSdickhole. You need to pay to play with me. And since you failed to sell-"

"Your mother," said PS3.

-------

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS console arguments are retarded. They may start out funny, but eventually they'll just drag on into something stupid and pointless and end with someone's mother being insulted or both parties throwing shit fits like angry three-year-olds.


Actually,


there is no moral.

I just wanted to write something with cussing.

The end.

[Bear]

DISCLAIMER! Credit for this goes to whoever came up with searching for kits.

You see small cave with the scent of kits all over it. Curious, you walk through the tiny entrance and into the cave. It's bigger than it looks on the outside. In the corner you see brightly dyed green she-cat organizing herbs. You walk over. "What is this place?" you ask looking around. You see one mossy nest and a lot of herbs. You also see a crack in the back wall that appears to lead somewhere. The she-cat turns to look at you. "Welcome to the Kit-Search Shop," She says. You look puzzled. "You can search for kits here. You can either check the main entrance, which is here, the back den, the storage cave, the farm, the apartment, the lake, the forest, twolegplace, the beach, the moor, or the park for kits. They won't come with you immediantly, you have to convince them first," says the she-cat before turning back to her herbs. Where will you look first?

The Main Entrance

1 Mossy nest
15 piles of herbs
6 Cracks in the wall


The Back Den

25 Mossy nests
3 Moss balls
2 Cracks in the wall
5 Rocks
1 Pile of pebbles


The Storage Cave

10 Piles of fresh-kill
10 Piles of moss
5 Piles of hay
3 Piles of Feathers


The Farm

3 Barns
10 Apple Trees
15 Empty buckets
5 Tufts of grass
3 Bushes
2 Fields
2 Patches of Catnip


The Apartment

28 Rooms
1 Pool Room
1 Lobby
5 Empty Breifcases
4 Cracks in the wall
3 Large Weeds


The Lake

15 Shallow Areas
15 Deep Areas
5 Reed Groups
5 Lily Pads
1 Well


The Forest

15 Trees
5 Ferns
7 Bushes
3 Places with thick moss
4 Ponds
2 Piles of dirt


Twolegplace

5 Shops
3 Empty Buckets
10 Twoleg Dens
8 Cracks in walls
5 Large Weeds
2 Wells
3 Piles of grass
5 Patches of catnip
6 Flower Beds
10 Flowery Bushes


The Beach

5 Empty Buckets
6 Piles of Sand
8 Sand Castles
4 Upside-down Umbrellas
6 Lumps in beach towels
6 Shallow Places
7 Deep Places
8 Tidal pools
4 Clumps of salty grass
2 Rocks
1 Pile of pebbles
3 Sand Dunes


The Moor

15 Clumps of grass
2 Rocks
3 Piles of pebbles
4 Holes
6 Hills


The Park

5 Rocks
3 Clumps of grass
4 Ponds
1 Large Pond
5 Clumps of reeds
7 Bushes
4 Statues
1 Large Weed
3 Trees
5 Flowery Bushes
7 Flower Beds
2 Empty Buckets
1 Hole



RULES
You can't take more than 5 regular kits per day
No more than 3 power kits or merkits per day
Only 4 crippled kits
Please say where you are looking (beach, moor, farm, etc.) and what you are looking in/around
Have Fun and go find those kits!



Relationships
This records whether or not you are going to get the kit soon and how easy s/he'll be to get. It also lists the type of kits you can get.

( = Very easy to convince, =Easy to convince, = Normal rate to convince, = Slightly hard to convince, = Hard to convince, = Very hard to convince)

Regular Kit types
Normal
Shy
Scared
Brave
Curious

Power Kits types
Water
Fire
Plant
Rock
Air
Flight (Have wings)
Phscyic (Spelling fail)
Other Depends...

Crippled Kit Types
Blind
Missing limb
Deaf
Mute
Can't smell

Merkit Types
Common
Normal
Uncommon
Rare
Very Rare

How close are you to getting the kit?

{Key: The kit is yours! The kits asked to go with you! Nearly there! Halfway there! the kit is warming up to you! Just started Not doing so well... You won't be getting the kit!}

Featherjay
Featherjay-Windkit- -Wingkit-

cakeengland
Essence-Smokekit-
Splashfire-???kit-
Mainmoon-Pondkit-
Wildface-???kit-
Petalpaw-Copperkit-

*Echofire*
Echofire-???kit-
Amberpaw-???kit-

Moonstar22<3
Seastar-Mossykit-



GOOD LUCK!